You know that it is Tourist season in Positano if..

1. In order to have a nice view at a restaurant, they are prepared to eat their meal right on the road, risking having their elbows grazed by a passing bus.



2. They are left stranded at Positano because the Sita buses on their way from Amalfi to Sorrento arrive too full to take on any more passengers.



3. Tourists presume that the bus service Sita, which connects Positano with the rest of the Amalfi Coast, must contain a silent 'h'. No guesses why.



4. They marvel at the bus driver's skills because 'Roads are carefully designed to be a little narrower than two cars side by side'. (John Steinbeck).



5. 'Attractive little alleyways ' in hotel brochures are redescribed by tourists as having 'slopes akin to those of Kilimanjaro'.



6. You hear tourists exclaim : "She told me that it was an easy 200 steps to the hotel. It felt like an easy 2000 ! "



7. As you walk past restaurants, you hear the waitress saying 'Buona sera' to every single stranger that goes past, hoping to entice them in.



8. Mobile phones are out everywhere taking impromptu videos of singing waiters.



9. Tourists stroll absentmindedly in front of moving buses taking off from the Mulino bus stop with a granita or gelato in hand risking their lives.



10. The bus taking off from the Mulino bus stop is always full of sweaty bodies clad in damp beach clothes.



11. Complaints from clients about all hotels, whether 3 star or 5 star, have got at least one thing in common : Ant invasion.



12. You hear voices over your head. You look up and see a bus load of people stopping at the Bel Vedere (view point) over your house to take photos.



13. There are brides EVERYWHERE.



14. Tourists hurry out of the water with jelly fish stings because they didn't understand the cry 'Medusa'.



15. The waiters at the beach bars become distracted from their duties by blonds in bikinis.



16. Day trippers arriving by ferry don't go up any further into town than the Mulino bus stop.
17. The bay is full of yachts and the beach is full of sun chairs.
18. You have to keep redirecting waylaid tourists who mistake your house for the way to the beach, back up past the sign that says 'Spiaggia, Beach ' and then points in the other direction. On their way up they help themselves to lemons off the tree.