You know that it's Tourist season in Positano if ...(2)

• You have to wait for people to have their panini (bread roll) freshly made up by the grocer before he serves you.


• They ask for things in funny Italian. He answers in stranger English.


• Australians are everywhere. You keep turning around to see if you know them. You try to restrain yourself from inviting them home.


• Water pressure is less in the morning and in the evening.


• The drains gurgle loudly from 9-10am; 5-6pm and 10-11pm.


• They smell much worse too.


• In the evening, you come up the bougainvillea clad walkway leading from the church, geriatric style, due to the amount of people trying to do the same thing.


• Due to the demand from air conditioners in hotels, electricity voltage comes in flickers of lows and highs so that it seems that the bulb needs changing.


• You finally meet up with your friends - regular seasonal 'tourists' to Positano.


• Restaurants are full from 6pm for the English.
• Restaurants are full from 9-12pm for the Italians.


• You see hopeful tourists drive into town on the oneway road at the top, and then drive themselves out again at the bottom not having found a place to park.


• They think that the price that you have to pay for private parking for one hour, is the price for the whole day.


• They are the only ones to put sunscreen on.


• They are the only ones to wear a one piece bathing suit.


• They are the only ones to wear a hat.


• They yell out : 'There's rocks and they're slippery', when they are in the water.


• They bring sea glass home as a souvenir.


• There is a babble of voices on the beach at midday, noisy motor boats coming and going, and what seems like an endless sequence of ferries depositing crowds of people on to the dock.


• An unexpected rain storm means that the pinball machine area under Pupetto restaurant quickly fills up with people in bathing costumes.


• You see them walking down at the top of the hill all along the scorching road, unsure of which stairs to take as a short cut to the beach.


• The granita seller at a small stand at the hot Mulino bus stop, suddenly finds himself in big business.

This is for all of you who will be heading off to your holidays soon. And for all of you who thought that Positano is a good idea in summer - be warned !