- In the morning, you hear the scraping of rakes across the pebbles, as the people working for the private beaches level the shore.
- You hear the occasional plop as the larger rocks are thrown back in.
- You can only beach lounge sardine style in summer.
- You are so close to your neighbour, that you can tell whether they shaved their legs that morning.
- People walking into the water look like clumsy tightrope walkers, arms- a -flailing.
- You can wade in the water over rocks for only two metres before suddenly hitting a ledge and going under. You pretend you did it on purpose.
- You get into the habit of checking the water for jellyfish before going in (and listen attentively for cries of Medusa along the beach).
- When the boy comes to ask you for the payment of the sun loungers, you tell him you'll pay at the bar later (because you know that the boss will give you a discount).
- You install your self on the lounge, placing your bag underneath.
- The ten a.m ferry to Capri goes past and five minutes later causes a mini tidal wave wetting anything you have placed under the sun lounge.
- You go to the bar for lunch al fresco and order arancini and a panino with a delicious parmigiana di melanzane which Luciano makes for you.
- You decide to get the umbrella because the heat is unbearable at midday.
- At midday, the wind picks up and the bagnino tells you that either you close the umbrella or hold it, to keep it from spearing the sunbather two rows behind you.
- You sit there looking stupid with an umbrella billowing in your hands.
- A Chinese lady comes up to you and asks if you want a massaggio. (A massage ! What? On the beach!)
- You decline and have to watch while she plummets your beach neighbour's legs and arms.
- You hear the familiar cry of Cocco Bello Cocco Fresco in a sing song voice. A very deeply tanned man in a straw hat arrives holding a tempting ice cold basket of coconut pieces. The cry "Cocco bello, cocco fresco" is the Positanesi equivalent of a Mr. Whippy ice-cream van. Children clamour to have a fresh piece of coconut.
- Your son begs you to buy some (2 euros for three small pieces!) and when he bites into it he promptly breaks the braces on his teeth.
- You close the umbrella, take the lilo and float out to the deep waters.
- Your teenage son's friends in the water all say 'hello'. He pretends he doesn't see you.
- You elegantly struggle back out of the water and with your lilo, narrowly avoid hitting the 90 year old lady in bikini, who is sitting on the water's edge talking to the (younger) old man in a Speedo.
- You decide not to tell her that she has tiny black stones sticking to her bottom, and then you check yours.
- The only thought at the end of a day when the shadow lengthens on the beach, is whether to chase the sun across to the other side, or else to lap up the relaxing atmosphere at the bar by having a gelato or iced tea with friends before heading home.
Thanks to the rubbish crisis in Naples, I've found a last minute flight from Luxembourg to Naples direct - and I'm going for a holiday to Positano on my own !!!! Leave my husband to cope with the rest of them for a week - I'm chilling.
See you after the 29th !
Lovely observations which made me smile. You want that beach to yourself don't you? A few more posts like this should do the trick.
Sally - is it that obvious ?
Have a great time but then again how could you not:)
Fornillo, how l love it there with the exception of August!
Luciano... Right now I want his bruschetta with a strawberry frappe' at the corner table of Pupetto. sigh.
Cleopantha - Thanks ! hopefully it's not too crowded yet.
Girl in giro - I'll have it for you !
Have a good time there!;)
I feel like I'm on vacation in that beautiful place with you.
Thank you for a wonderful mini-break!
Very funny stuff!!!
I remember *trying* to walk on the beach there..and yes it hurt!!!!
That cured me of trying it again....
Lucky you....going to Positano alone ;)
Chiara- It was very relaxing!
loulou- Your photos bring me to France too...
my melange- bagnini 'do it barefoot' all the time !
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